Unfortunately, some guys who seem to enjoy being around kids and entertaining little ones seem as though they would make great dads, but they may actually just be childish and irresponsible themselves. If you married someone who is less of an adult and more of an irresponsible child, and you are now divorcing and deciding custody of the children, you will want to bring up some of the following issues with the child custody lawyer. Here is how to talk to your child custody lawyer about your irresponsible spouse.
Withhold Really Negative Talk Unless You Have Proof
This is going to be hard, because you are angry and want to lash out and you want to cut and run. You cannot. You have to try to speak objectively to your lawyer, since that is what the judge in the court room is going to expect. Speaking this way in front of the lawyers first is like practice for when you have to speak in front of the judge.
Also, bring evidence that shows your ex's irresponsibility. Did he leave the kids alone to go buy cigarettes and your oldest is only eight? Did he take the kids to a bar or strip club and leave them in the car for an hour? Some of this stuff borders on negligence and/or child endangerment, and not just irresponsibility, so it helps to have proof.
Review the Financial Stuff
Couples always fight about money. It is one of the leading causes of divorce. Divorced couples still fight about money until the kids are grown and gone. The child custody attorney does not need to see your financials or see what your ex did to your accounts, unless he (she) emptied every account and skipped town and left the kids by themselves while you were at work, which is another example of irresponsibility. However, the attorney may need to know whether or not your ex can hold down a job. Then it becomes important to talk about these things.
Challenging the Children to Do Dangerous Things
When your spouse "watched" the kids, did he challenge them to do dangerous things? One such example would be to climb out on the roof and ride a snow saucer down the ice embanked on the roof into a snow bank below. This is seriously irresponsible parenting and should be mentioned. Other incidents similar to this, where the children were encouraged to do dangerous or potentially harmful things all the name of "fun," would count as being irresponsible. The child custody lawyer would definitely want to know about these incidents, since it would mean that the children might not be completely safe staying with the other parent alone.
For more information, talk with a child custody attorney, such as Kenneth J. Molnar Attorney.